The Fledgling

Hearing the persistent squawking of a bluejay and the frantic chirping of a wren, I looked out my kitchen window to see what the fuss was about.  In the dim light of dusk, I could see both the bluejay and wren perched in the huge old ash tree; the small brown wren stood on a …

Mother’s Day

Sometimes, the universe brings lovely ribbons of life together and ties them in a perfect bow.  At least, that is how I felt a couple of days ago on Mother’s Day. The morning started with work that went well. One of my jobs is as a personal trainer, and at 9 a.m., I trained a …

Pass or Fail

For my final paper in graduate school, the stakes were high.  If I passed, I would graduate in an elegant ceremony at Oxford University in England.  If I failed, I wouldn’t graduate on time, and I would disappoint my family who was coming all the way from the U.S. to see me graduate. (I thought …

A Simple Surgery

I wasn’t nervous about the minor surgery on my right hand until I was lying on a gurney in the operating room. I looked at the bright lights on the ceiling and then glanced around the room to watch the doctors and nurses bustle about me.  In my left arm, an I.V. was dripping its …

Memory

Author’s note:  The following is a true story, but I do wonder how memory affects us…how we reshape our memories and how we relive them.  Memory takes us away from the present moment to a realm of our history and imagination.  As a writer, I like the vividness of certain memories, and I like recapturing …

My Messy Inner Life

“Everyone is screwed up, broken, clingy and scared. Everyone, even the people who seem to have it most together.  They are much more like you than you would believe, so try not to compare your insides to other people’s outsides.”    Anne Lamott I love this advice from Anne Lamott.  On my dark days, it seems like …

Small Things with Great Love

When I was young, I thought that I was destined be a social activist.   I believed that in order to be a worthwhile person, I needed to influence the masses and make a sweeping change.  It wasn’t that I had a feeling of grandeur; rather I was feeling beaten down by life, and I felt …

Spring in My Step

Spring weather is often glorious – with mild temperatures, bright sunshine, and color abounding as the leaves and flowers pop open.  When the weather is beautiful, I feel compelled to be outdoors.  Unfortunately, when I am in the house or a store, I feel like a child who is missing a birthday party.  It’s as …

How I Became an Optimist

I used to be a phony optimist, pretending that things were always delightful and going well, despite my terrible inner turmoil.  You see, I have bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depression.  For most of my life, I did not know that I had a mental illness, and instead, I thought that everyone had these extreme, …

Adults Behaving Badly

“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”  Anne Lamott I’d like to tell you the stories of my family and friends – the flaws and secrets that abound.  They make juicy narratives of affairs, alcoholism, drug abuse, unexpected pregnancies, lies and deceptions.  They are full …